Today has been one of "those" days when everything seems to be upside down. But usually, and I say usually because I believe there are exceptions, it is me the one that is upside down and this explains how I see things.
My father had surgery and he is having some kind of complications. I am here in USA and he is there in Spain. Of course he is no alone, my brothers and sisters and my mom are with him. I cannot go yet until I get my new passport and the Spanish law says I have to do it in person...I have to go to Chicago...Bob has been traveling 5 weeks back to back.
I won't tell everything that is going on but I will say that if I live a life of selfishness in a certain degree I will have fruits of selfishness.
The Heavenly law says that God gives 100 every time we give 1 (this is what I was told in the convent) Is it the same for the Selfish god? If I keep one for me will I owe 100 more? So I realized the importance of tithing. When we tithe we enter into the Natural Flow of Blessing, we are inside God's realm.
To tithe is also a way to surrender, to recognize that Everything comes from Him, there is Nothing I have that it was not given to me by Him....I belong to Him...and here my "independent" genes are shouting "revolution!!!!!" I wonder if communism comes from that deep feeling of sick independence...probably it does....I wonder if my communist ancestors are just grinding their teeth while I write this....probably. It does not sound good to the fallen mind the word "surrender"......
To surrender takes a lot of trust......and we have been hurt so much in that area...
To trust takes a lot of faith.....yes...to trust again and again takes faith and courage.....
If I say that I love God, but I don't trust that He is going to take care of me...What kind of Love is that one? Very poor......
Do I want to live upside down? I don't think so....it is uncomfortable......
Changes....crisis....this is good.....very good.....Do I feel happy? Of course no! But I feel very thankful to God because He is always ready to correct me and show me the "Easy" way to His Heart.
Have a wonderful night Father,
Maria.
1 comments:
I pray for your father.
I think sometimes we forget how small we truly are. Small to the world, yet significant to God. But to US we'd like to think it the other way around....."how grand we are to the world! The world NEEDS us!....and how tiny we are to God". It helps me to remember this in purifying intention. If my eyes are on the world and seeking to please others...living my life facing others....my actions are insignificant and wasted (maybe not wasted, but dry). However, if I do those same things with eyes set on Him...seeking to please HIM....facing only HIM.....how beautiful a life's work can be!!! even if it is just cleaning the toilet or taking the trash out or planting a garden or whatever.
Intent. Purifying our intent.
Not so easy. Simple....but certainly NOT easy.
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